Attack of the "We" People: What Did McKelvin's Lawn Do To You?

I created a post a few months back and sent it to Bleacher Report, and it got very little attention either place. With the vandalism of Buffalo Bills CB Leodis McKelvin's lawn after his game-changing fumble Monday night, I need to revisit it.

I refer to people who identify a little too closely with their favorite teams as "we" people, after their annoying habit of lumping themselves in with the players as part of the organization. My personal philosophy states that if you use the terms "we," "us," or "our" when discussing your team, you need to be able to provide some video evidence that you were, in fact, on the field at some time. (As an active participant, not a streaker, you degenerates.)

Otherwise, you're discounting your own opinion as hopelessly biased and made discussing sports with you completely worthless, since you've now made it personal. I am now afraid to tell you that your team sucks, for fear that you will turn and crack me in the teeth...or worse.

I have very little doubt that the people who painted the game's final score on McKelvin's lawn, along with what has been nebulously referred to as an "obscenity," are the kind of people who take that kind of pathological interest in the results of the Bills' games. Living and dying with your team's wins and losses is much like fat, drunk, and stupid. Neither is much of a way to go through life, son.

And I use the term "living and dying" for a very good reason. I produced another piece a few weeks ago, attempting to illustrate why NFL players were in no hurry to challenge ye olde Seconde Amendmente. As far as these guys are concerned, they now need to be packing at all times. If people are going to start taking it to the next level and bringing it onto their front lawns while they're on road trips, the players might just start having their wives packing, to boot.

Some have said that Kawika Mitchell exacerbated the problem when he Tweeted this...

"Its def not a game to b playin. W/ all the safety issues n the NFL its not funny at all. We have Fam at our homes to protect. If u show ur face on my prop Ill make sure I do everythin to keep my Fam safe."

...and this...

"So dont come around thinkin, oh we'll just leave a message on his lawn or wall, b/c Im goin to take it as a threat. Its my job to protect my home as it is the job of all home owners."

But I don't view this as a threat so much as a reminder that paying your ticket price does not entitle you to complete dominion over these players and the rest of the team's employees.

You want to show up to the stadium and boo McKelvin for putting the ball on the turf and costing "us" the game? Fine. Your ticket gives you that right.

You want to make a phone call the next morning and get bent with your local sports jock about how "we" had the Patriots on the ropes? No problem. The amendment right before #2 above grants you that privilege.

Showing up on another person's property, however? That will get you shot, and justifiably so.

Visions of Sean Taylor still dance in players' heads, and any unknown person on their property in the dead of night will be assumed to have bad intentions. The next step past vandalizing the lawn may be executing a player's (or coach's) dog.

I shouldn't have to outline what would come after that.

I understand the frustration of watching a difficult loss. After all, I stayed up a little later than I should have just to watch the Bears forget how to cover Greg Jennings, then see Jay Cutler toss pick #4. The fan now has to take out mortgages at 18% to be able to afford a family trip to a game. Sometimes, it's difficult to justify this loyalty, especially when the only reward teams offer in return is a ticket price increase (or a lawsuit, in the extreme cases).

Note that "game" is bolded above. When the columns are totaled, a game is what we're talking about. Your team lost. Everyone's team loses at some point. But it takes a special breed of jackhole to decide that he's going to say it with Krylon all over a player's lawn.

These are the people who make it personal. These are the people who make me sad to be a sports fan. And I'll bet every damn one that overreacts this way refers to his team as "we."

No Lesson Learned: The NFL Gun Culture Won't End With Plaxico Burress

NFL players are rattled right now. They play a sport that celebrates the air of invincibility and the indiscriminate use of violence to accomplish one's goals.

Yet, outside the workplace, they have come face-to-face with the evidence that the appearance of being bulletproof does not make them invincible, and they're realizing that they must protect themselves.

The deaths of Broncos cornerback Darrent Williams, Redskins safety Sean Taylor, and former Titans quarterback Steve McNair in violent gunshot attacks have players very conscious of their own mortality. This says nothing of the beating of Raiders receiver Javon Walker and the paralysis of Jaguars offensive tackle Richard Collier. Players are now aware that their careers, if not their lives, can be gone in an instant.

It's that very awareness that prompted Burress to take a loaded weapon with him to the Latin Quarter nightclub on November 28, 2008. Nine months later, Burress has pleaded guilty to criminal weapon possession charges and faces a 20-to-24-month jail sentence.

Meanwhile, in the NFL, what will change? Despite the awareness of the dangers awaiting them outside their front doors, the NFL is still a league of men aged 21 to 35 who live on adrenaline. It's not easy to tell these guys that they need to stay home at night.

Walk into your typical nightclub, and you're walking into a combustible mix of things that should be approached with great caution. Testosterone and alcohol can easily create a dangerous situation by themselves, especially in a club environment where no one wants to look weak in front of onlooking females. The danger increases exponentially when deadly weapons are introduced into the situation, especially by a well-known athlete.

As Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger said in a 2008 ESPN The Magazine article, "Depending on the setting, you get guys who just get really gutsy when they get a couple of drinks in them."

The swagger of an NFL athlete, however, dictates that they not back down in the face of aggressively "gutsy" fans. They must be prepared for something to jump off. Unfortunately, preparing for something to happen can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Going in armed can lead to a mindset that says, "If anything goes down, I'm prepared to draw first." That mindset can easily increase the likelihood of an incident, rather than reduce it.

In a 2003 article in the New York Times, former offensive tackle Lomas Brown said "almost every player I knew" owned and carried a gun. None of this is likely to change in the wake of the Burress sentencing.

It can be hoped that players will, however, take the time to consult their attorneys on the gun laws in their area, as Plaxico would have been well-advised to do.

Burress's defenders argue that there was no "criminal intent" behind Plax carrying a gun, but in New York, carrying an unregistered firearm is a criminal act. Burress not knowing that fact does not excuse it, as ignorance of the law is not a legal defense.

It's easy to paint the NFL's players as a crazed pack of gun-toting scofflaws, due to the large media coverage of athletes' legal issues. However, the San Diego Union-Tribune noted in 2008 that NFL players, from 2000 through April of 2008, were a better-behaved lot than society at large.

The general U.S. population was arrested at a rate of one for every 21 people.

NFL players during that time frame were arrested at a rate of 1 in 47, including practice-squad players and those on injured reserve.

To repeat a point, athletes do know that they have quite a bit to lose. There is a need, however, for players to educate and prepare themselves in better fashions. Roethlisberger, as well as former Giants RB and current NBC News reporter Tiki Barber, is public about hiring off-duty police officers for security purposes when he goes out.

Far from making an athlete look weak, having accredited security personnel watching one's back instead of a bunch of friends from the neighborhood is a smart maneuver. That way, a player doesn't go about preparing to defend himself from losing everything in a manner that causes him to take it all away from himself.