4 Quarters Radio: February 4 4th Quarter

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The fourth-quarter curriculum for February 4:
--Scott pokes the proverbial bear, asking Logan for comments on the latest round of violations at Tennessee.
--The MMA Authority has a hard time keeping his cards straight, but he still offers his picks on UFC 126. At least, he does once Logan gets done begging for calls to have Scott or Bobby throw on dresses.
--A strange random caller picks the Steelers and shoves the NBA right off the show, so Bobby takes a moment to plug his latest video game obsession, Fight Night Champion.
--In Epic Fails, Drew's attempted slap on Albert Haynesworth gets put out there, while Bobby's wondering why anyone cares about Big Ben being in piano bars. Logan takes one last shot at getting callers for dresses, and Scott wonders who would enter a tournament for "imaginary" money.

Excised music: "Hypnotize U" by N.E.R.D.

4 Quarters Radio: December 9 4th Quarter

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The fourth-quarter curriculum for December 9:
--The Denver Broncos' coaching position comes available, and the usual suspects get consideration. Also, an unusual suspect is rumored to seek rehab for Tebow withdrawal.
--Los Guys deliberate on who should be the MVP, and Scott has a surprising dark-horse candidate, especially considering his feelings on the player's team.
--Scott gives respect to Bobby's Raiders and other teams that will decide division races other than their own.
--The guys also check in on Grampa and the Vikings, wondering if anything short of death will end The Streak.
--The Boxing Hall of Fame inductees get a look, from the dominant fighters like Tyson, Chavez, and Balboa to...wait, Balboa?
--In the Epic Fails, Bobby piles on a local icon and Scott piles on a national plague. You know, the usual.

Excised music: "Standing on the Verge of Getting It On" by Funkadelic.

4 Quarters Radio: September 9 4th Quarter

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The fourth-quarter curriculum for September 9:
--Bobby shows up, and the two compare their NFL playoff picks. They discuss how smart the Titans may be for trying to reacquire Albert Haynesworth and all the people trying to sue him. They're eagerly anticipating The T.Ocho Show, in all its car-crash glory, even comparing it to an actual car crash. In the Epic Fails, the fellas ponder what kind of women still want to nail Dennis Rodman. Excised music: "King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles.

4 Quarters Radio June 21

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Scott's solo on the June 21 edition of 4QR, and he expounds on the Lakers taking the NBA Championship, why Boston's loss is all Doc Rivers' fault, and why the Kobe/Jordan comparisons aren't TOTALLY ridiculous. After that, offseason drama takes center stage, with draft discussion and what it REALLY takes to land LeBron. In the second, it's all about College Conference Roulette, why a BCS shakeup should be coming soon, and why it might not all be over yet. Bobby calls up in the third, and they talk about whether it's okay or not to switch off at halftime. Plus, who's actually stupid enough to deal for Albert Haynesworth? Finally, vuvuzela fever spreads to the Epic Fails, which unfortunately end quite abruptly. Excised music: "Kissed It" by Macy Gray w/ Velvet Revolver, "Ghost" by FeFe Dobson, and "Over" by Drake.

Writin' Dirty: When Football Does (and Doesn't) Go Too Far

Hines Ward and Ric Flair now have something in common. Namely, the title of "Dirtiest Player in the Game." Different games, but one thing is the same: in both wrestling and football, calling someone dirty is essentially thinly veiled whining.

Sports Illustrated recently gave us a poll where almost 300 NFL players voted on who they felt was the dirtiest player in football. Ward got 11.6 percent of the vote, almost twice what runners-up Albert Haynesworth and Joey Porter received. Remember, that's the same Albert Haynesworth that tried to give Andre Gurode some free plastic surgery.

You'd think that, a decade into his career, people would be used to Hines Ward by now. The guy's a linebacker who runs pass patterns, and he has no qualms about lowering the boom on somebody. If the other guy's not looking (as Keith Rivers apparently wasn't when Hines broke his jaw), that's the other guy's problem.

The "Dirtiest Player" poll is essentially little more than an excuse for players to whine about people that have historically made them look bad. Is it a coincidence that the top ten vote-getters here have a combined 30 Pro Bowls between them?

Jared Allen (2 Pro Bowls), Troy Polamalu (5), Harvey Dahl (0), Richie Incognito (0), Cortland Finnegan (1), Kevin Mawae (7), Roy L. Williams (5), Joey Porter (4), Albert Haynesworth (2), and Ward (4) were your Top 10.

No defensive player likes the idea of getting put on his ass by a wide receiver, most of whom are the most likely players to come out of a game because "OMFG, I SO broke a nail!" Especially when that wide receiver played QUARTERBACK in college. Ward's not supposed to be anywhere near heavy contact, and yet he's often the one seeking it. That damages the ego of a defensive player, who must instantly call the contact "dirty" to make his own psychic boo-boo feel better.

For my money, Haynesworth's head stomp to Gurode is one he'll likely never live down, and Williams' popularizing the horse-collar tackle led to one of those rare safety rules that I can totally get behind.

Likewise, griping about offensive linemen like Mawae, Incognito, and Dahl is pointless, as just about anything can happen when the lines collide. In there, it's pretty much anything goes...as long as you're not attacking the eyes and the testes. More on that in a moment.

Hines Ward is a tough bastard. If you think otherwise, it's probably because your team's defense is filled with pussies who just got stuck in the dirt by a QB-turned-WR who forgot he's supposed to be a little priss.

Far as I'm concerned (and I'm fairly far from a Steelers fan), Hines can keep doing what he does all the way to Canton.

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Now, back to the eyes and testicles.

Specifically, the eyes of Georgia running back Washaun Ealey being nearly introduced to the fingers of Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes.

You want dirty? There it is, kids.

There's no way to sell that as an accident.

Spikes claimed it was retaliation for similar treatment earlier in the game. Possible, but still...the best way to retaliate in a football game is still to stick your shoulder pad in a back's chest, separate him from the ball, and then lay on top of him and talk about how he just hocked up his manhood when your team recovers the fumble.

Brock Lesnar and Georges St. Pierre, two leading practitioners of what John McCain once called "human cockfighting," aren't allowed to go for the eyes. There's no call for Brandon Spikes to be doing it, either.

And Urban Meyer doesn't get a pass on this one, either. I'm a bit of a Meyer fan, but ye gods, what the hell do you gain by suspending someone for a half? By halftime against Vanderbilt, most of the starters wouldn't be in anyway, so what's the point?

Spikes has now "suspended himself" for the entire game, and it seems like a nice gesture. To whom, I'm not sure, but still. I highly doubt that it was Spikes' idea. Urb's probably gotten a whiff of the whole teapot tempest that his limp-wristed "punishment" started and needed a way to cover himself without LOOKING like he was covering himself. This way, Spikes looks like a "responsible young man" seeking atonement for his actions, and the Gators get a few extra bonus points for "overcoming distractions" and beating Vanderbilt shorthanded.

Since, you know, Vanderbilt's 2-7 record is pretty intimidating and all.