4 Quarters Radio: September 30 1st Quarter

The first-quarter curriculum for September 30:
--Scott's all alone in the studio, but he's still locked and loaded. Being a solutions-oriented sort, he offers the perfect center for Mike Vick and his banged-up hand. He then moves on to note that everyone involved with the story is protesting a bit too much.
--Scott is able to cite some statistics that can defuse anyone who's inclined to call Vick's problems racial in nature. Several other teams have their QB's getting hit more often than Philly.
--Logan Propst, who should be in the studio, instead turns up on the phone and offers his thoughts on Vick as well.
--Los Guys turn to Minnesota and ponder the real culprit for the Vikings' epic second-half failures. This, naturally, leads into a discussion of Madden etiquette.
--Scott starts an impromptu game of Medal Stand, ranking his top three teams most likely to Suck for Luck. Logan's not in the mood to play, but Scott's more than able to rise to the occasion.

Featured music: "From a Table Away" by Sunny Sweeney.

4 Quarters Radio: April 22 1st Quarter

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The first-quarter curriculum for April 22:
--Scott and Mack are joined in the studio by TitansTouchdown.com co-editor Blaize Pennington, comparing his mock draft with Scott's.
--A few picks agree, but the discussion highlights several disagreements, as well. Topics include why the Vikings need a PR pick, where Da'Quan Bowers' stock will finally bottom out, and why the Dolphins are better off avoiding Mark Ingram.

Featured music: "Destroy Everything You Touch" by Ladytron. Stick around at the end for a brief snippet of the track, and help the show out by purchasing the full download if you like it.

4 Quarters Radio: January 21 3rd Quarter

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The third-quarter curriculum for January 21:
--Guest stars Daffy Duck and Taz help 4QR and Logan both celebrate their birthdays and the show's debut on iTunes.
--Bobby gives a thumbnail preview of UFC Fight for the Troops.
--In a game of Medal Stand, the NFL's new head coaches are previewed, and the fellas rank the three best bets for next season.
--MTSU football coach Rick Stockstill joins the crew after a recruiting visit, and patiently answers questions about the concluded season, his search for new coordinators, and whether he'd tolerate a player going off Cromartie-style.

Excised music: "Worlds Apart" by Times of Grace.

4 Quarters Radio: December 9 4th Quarter

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The fourth-quarter curriculum for December 9:
--The Denver Broncos' coaching position comes available, and the usual suspects get consideration. Also, an unusual suspect is rumored to seek rehab for Tebow withdrawal.
--Los Guys deliberate on who should be the MVP, and Scott has a surprising dark-horse candidate, especially considering his feelings on the player's team.
--Scott gives respect to Bobby's Raiders and other teams that will decide division races other than their own.
--The guys also check in on Grampa and the Vikings, wondering if anything short of death will end The Streak.
--The Boxing Hall of Fame inductees get a look, from the dominant fighters like Tyson, Chavez, and Balboa to...wait, Balboa?
--In the Epic Fails, Bobby piles on a local icon and Scott piles on a national plague. You know, the usual.

Excised music: "Standing on the Verge of Getting It On" by Funkadelic.

4 Quarters Radio: November 18 4th Quarter

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The fourth-quarter curriculum for November 18:
--The situations in Dallas, Minnesota, and Washington get scrutinized to determine whose is the most dysfunctional in the NFL. The "Mike Shanahan = racist" theory gets checked for holes, as well.
--Scott, Bobby, and Dylan weigh in on whether they would have extended Donovan McNabb's contract...especially for five years.
--Scott shares the official all-time ranking of Michael Vick's spit-roasting of the Redskins.
--After an unfortunate false alarm, the 4Q crew actually DOES get its first-ever listener call-in. The caller also has a comment about McNabb's past and future.
--In the Epic Fails, Dylan gets on Chiefs coach Todd Haley for leaving Josh McDaniels hanging post-game, and Bobby gets on a defensive back having the worst possible luck on a deflection. Scott's Epic Fail goes to the kicker of the Pittsburgh Steelers...well, okay, the ex-kicker of the Steelers. Also, an international soccer striker keeps the receipt and returns a gift.

Excised music: "Paris (Ooh La La) by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.

4 Quarters Radio: November 4 3rd Quarter

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The third-quarter curriculum for November 4:
--Temporarily alone in the studio, Scott pontificates on where the responsibility lies in the Randy Moss-Minnesota Vikings divorce.
--Once Bobby arrives, he unloads with both barrels on Moss, giving a frank appraisal of what he'll do for the Titans. (Hint: not much.) The guys then ponder his motivation to be a good soldier or a pain in the ass for the rest of this year.
--Scott breaks out the Olympic theme and the guys play a rousing game of Medal Stand, ranking the NFL coaches most likely to be canned this season. Bobby even throws out a write-in candidate.
--The crack 4Q research staff comes up with a Top 5 list in honor of the reasons Mike Shanahan really benched Donovan McNabb. Baked goods are involved.

Excised music: "Hot-N-Fun" by N.E.R.D. feat. Nelly Furtado.

 

4 Quarters Radio: October 28 4th Quarter

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The fourth-quarter curriculum for October 28:
--Among NFL quarterbacks, the guys divide them into old, crippled and stupid.
--The Old: Brett Favre continues to flex his supreme authority in Minnesota, and the crew ponders whether Brad Childress has the balls to take it away from him.
--The Crippled: The fellas decide if the Cowboys will win any games with Jon Kitna as quarterback.
--The Stupid: Jay Cutler decides that four interceptions wasn't enough to throw to DeAngelo Hall. Even Scott's patience seems to wear thin with Cutler's retarded stubbornness.
--In the Epic Fails, Bobby has to make fun of a dancing white man...albeit a very large dancing white man. Dylan's not a fan of the new LeBron James commercial, while Logan's not a fan of old, crippled douchenozzle quarterbacks. Scott, for his part, wonders how some people get hired as ESPN announcers when he can't.

Excised music: "Let's Ride" by Wayman Tisdale.

4 Quarters Radio: October 14 3rd Quarter

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The third-quarter curriculum for October 14:
--Scott bums out for a moment regarding the Braves' elimination from the playoffs, even though he did predict it as such. He continues with his previous choices of the Rangers and Phillies in the Fall Classic.
--Bobby throws down his latest round of picks for the UFC's English pay-per-view. "The MMA Authority" even lets fate decide, even resorting to a coin toss on one pick. Kinda renders the name ironic, dunnit?
--Scott registers his annoyance with Bobby for a tremendous comeback win in the 4Q fantasy league. Malcom Floyd gets a big raised middle finger.
--The guys offer their predictions for which Toilet Bowl participant (Dallas/Minnesota) is more likely done with a loss. Scott also advances the theory that Grampa Favre is done already.

Excised music: "One Nation Under a Groove" by Funkadelic. (Epic Fail for Amazon for not having the original available for download.)

4 Quarters Radio: October 7 4th Quarter

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The fourth-quarter curriculum for October 7:
--Scott, Bobby, and Dylan ponder the Randy Moss trade and examine if the Patriots may possibly have been just as desperate as the Vikings.
--Bobby gets a moment to shake his head and get bummed out by the re-emergence of Kevin Kolb. Meanwhile, Scott ponders the psychic effects that the Eagles defense may have suffered from Donovan McNabb receiving a standing ovation.
--Scott wonders if Jay Cutler's been marked for death...by his own offensive coordinator.
--A quick update of the 4 Quarters fantasy league, Scott bemoans his 1-3 start, but unveils his nefarious plan to capitalize on a pair of suspensions.
--After the 10-minute warning, Scott puts Bobby on the spot and asks him to pick a winner between the three ex-Arkansas running backs currently toiling in the NFL (Darren McFadden, Felix Jones, Peyton Hillis). No points for guessing which one he picks.
--Also no points for guessing who Bobby chooses as his Epic Fail. Dylan stays local, and Scott calls out a guy whose managerial career was one loss short of being historically terrible.

Excised music: "Stumbling Through the Dark" by the Jayhawks.

4 Quarters Radio: September 23 3rd Quarter

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The third-quarter curriculum for September 23:

--A belated Whodaman starts off the second half. Logan's selfish, giving love to his fantasy football stalwart, while Scott honors the triumph of upstanding players over field-crashing idiots.
--Scott's briefly solo, and takes the time to weigh in on the NFL teams changing quarterbacks after only two games. For the most part, they're the teams that one would expect to be flailing for answers.
--Scott sounds a death knell for Percy Harvin's NFL career, wondering how anyone can absorb that kind of physical abuse and work around migraines.
--Bobby arrives and immediately gets to weigh in on his teams, the Raiders and Eagles, with their new signal-callers.
--Bobby also pauses to ponder whether or not Jeff Fisher has a personal grudge against Vince Young. Scott, meanwhile, celebrates the first Kerry Collins sighting as the true beginning of fall.
--Scott spotlights which NFL team will be last to win...AND when it will happen. Write it down.

Excised music: "Take It Back" by The Qemists.

Vikings' Ship Taking on Water?

There are some NFL coaches who can summon enough fire and brimstone to keep even their future Hall of Fame players in line.

Brad Childress is apparently not one of them.

His players are apparently calling his halftime tirades "laughable" after his (or should it be Brett Favre's?) offense managed only seven points against the (then) 5-8 Carolina Panthers.

He can't get Favre to come out of the game. And this isn't just a one-time discussion. It happened against Green Bay (see next paragraph) and also against Detroit.

He can't even get Favre to stop changing from running plays to taking masturbatory heaves downfield with a 10-point lead, 3:27 left in the game, and an opponent who's out of time-outs. Clock Management 101, meet Trying to Stick It In My Old Team's Eye.

Apparently, Chilly can't even keep Brett from running his yap after the game, letting loose comments that provoke the chuckleworthy visual of Childress screaming at his assistant coaches clad only in a towel.

Even after all of this, Childress is running around like a madman, trying to stick gum in the cracks of the dam. He wants to let everyone know that he would NEVER consider pulling Brett, it was just an idea. Is he trying to convince the media, himself...or Brett? Bottom line is, you don't come to a player, ANY player, with the idea that "Hey, it's only a one-point game, but I think I need to take you out." Like anyone's gonna take that well?

If you're gonna pull somebody, pull them. Don't ask their permission, even if the guy is all over the league record books. Otherwise, it tells us something that we already knew:

It's not Adrian Peterson's team. It's not even Brad Childress's team. It's Brett Favre's team, and everyone else is just supporting cast. Favre made that perfectly clear when he brought the entire situation to light post-game.

I have one Favre-slurping friend (hint: he's in the 3FL and got married a few months ago) who, on the 3FL league message board, tried to give me grief about my preseason predictions for the Vikes. At the time, the Vikings were still strolling down the Cupcake Alley that passed for their early-season schedule. I will admit that I misfired on the record and the part about missing the playoffs.

However, note the stats from the losses to Arizona and Carolina. In those two games, Adrian Peterson had a total of 25 carries for 54 yards. Meanwhile, Favre threw 72 passes, only two for touchdowns and three getting picked. That part, I called.

I also called Childress having to make a separate set of rules for one player and losing control of the team in the process. Next time he wants to bench Bryant McKinnie (especially for something that Brad will take the bullet for anyway) who's to say that Bryant's going to listen? If Brett can overrule the coach on whether he plays or not, why can't McKinnie? In total, this has the potential to really get ugly for Chilly.

Last night, the New York Giants showed they weren't dead yet, and they play the Vikings in Week 17. Next week, the Vikings have the Bears, and the only hope for Bears fans is that Jay Cutler can actually step his game up to Matt Moore levels. (Yeah, that was an odd sentence.)

The point of looking ahead is that the Vikings are now only one game up on an Eagles team that is scoring on everyone. If they finish tied, the Eagles will take the bye based on conference record. That will stick Favre's 40-year-old carcass out there against playoff-level comp (possibly the Packers again, to the frenzied salivation of the Worldwide Leader) with no extra week off. That he may need rest at some point should be self-evident to anyone who's not an ego-driven, aging quarterback.

All that said, Favre's not the one most wrong here. If the coach is just "throwing out ideas" that you should come out of the game, you have every right to say that you think it's a stupid idea. If the coach doesn't have the pigskins to say "Sit your ass down," that's his problem. But if Favre gets hammered some more by the Bears or Giants and the offense is forced to change directions permanently, that's also Brad Childress's problem.

All because his "stream of consciousness" started running down his leg.

Full Moon Fever: Has the NFL Gone Completely Mental This Season?

I've been actively following football for twenty-five years. I like to think I've seen quite a bit from the game in that time. But, to be honest with you, I don't think I've seen a season get ramped up with this much goofiness since the players were walking in off the street in 1987.

First, it's Michael Vick the Eagle. Supposedly, it's all Donovan McNabb's idea, giving the offense another weapon to play with. Fair enough. If Vick's half the player he was when he went inside, he's dangerous. And not just to your pitbulls.

Then, we have McNabb being his usual candid self and saying it'd be great to have a target like Plaxico "O,MFL!" Burress. On one hand, it seems like the usually character-driven Eagles are in danger of being turned into Raiders East, the new halfway house of the NFL. On the other hand, it seems like McNabb's more interested in lobbying for sainthood than polishing his resume for the Hall of Fame. St. Donovan, the patron saint of NFL lost causes. If anyone asks Donovan about Pacman Jones, Philly fans need to run for the hills.

Speaking of the Raiders, they can always be counted on to be some kind of goofy, even boiling down to players fighting in camp. See Williams, Marcus and Romanowski, Bill (the fellas to the left...guess who won the fight).

Now, we have assistant coach Randy Hanson allegedly playing Glass Joe to Tom Cable's Little Mac...even though Cable bears more resemblance to King Hippo, honestly. I love Cable's answers to questions about the incident.

"Sure, I can address it. It's an internal issue that we're dealing with, and that's all I'm gonna say."

Translation: I can address it...but I'm not going to address it. Unfortunately, Tom, once someone got sent to the hospital and the police got involved, it kinda stopped being internal.

If we think we're going to get answers from anyone Raider-affiliated, keep dreaming. The Mafia and Fight Club take tips from Al Davis on ways to keep people from talking. Randy Hanson is, according to the San Jose Mercury News's Tim Kawakami, Al Davis's boy on the staff. As a key witness in Davis's legal war with Lane Kiffin, Hanson may be enjoying the equivalent of diplomatic immunity. He's not been at work since the incident on August 5th, but I'd be quite surprised if he's no longer on the payroll. Knowing Al, he may just pay Hanson to sit home and eat Bon-Bons until the Kiffin case gets settled.

Meanwhile, Cable may get whacked. Figuratively, literally, either way. Depends on Al's mood that day.

Finally, we have Brett Favre allegedly taking career advice from his ten-year-old daughter. Seriously, is his daughter Dakota Fanning? The entire "do what you have to do" speech sounds ripped straight from an Oscar consideration reel. Either your heart melted when he recounted this story, or you rolled your eyes and threw another layer of BS on top of the already sizeable pile that's come out of both Favre and Brad Childress over the last several months. And you might be able to guess that I haven't had to call the mop crew.

And yes, I said several months. Meaning more than three or four. This situation has been in the works for a lot longer than anyone will admit, and it'd shock me if there was no tacit understanding that Brett would show up as soon as he could without going to Mankato State University and bunking in a dorm for training camp.

I do have to give Brett one thing, he didn't do too terribly wrong by the Jets. The Packers had slipped a poison pill into their trade with New York that would have sent three first-rounders to Green Bay if the Jets had traded him to an NFC North team. Favre retired again, let the Jets release him, and got them off the hook for those picks. Good show there. And yes, it's rather sad that I have to applaud a guy for not actively screwing his old team.

Speaking of getting screwed, how long before Tarvaris Jackson goes on Vince Young suicide watch? He and Sage Rosenfels got lied to for months. They may have been the only guys thinking that there might be a chance that Favre would stay retired. But every Viking player needs to pay close attention here, because there but for the grace of God goes every player in that locker room. "We're moving on, we're closing the book, Sage and Tarvaris are our guys...whoops, sorry guys, gotta skip out for a little bit of practice so I can go pick up a GOOD quarterback from the airport." Good luck getting the guys to play to the whistle for all 16 games, Coach.

I'll put it down here, the Vikings go either 7-9 or 8-8, miss the playoffs, and Brad Childress gets fired. The final month of the season, Favre's chucking it 40 times per game, AP's getting 12 carries, and they wonder why the defense starts giving up more points. All that, of course, if the rotator cuff doesn't disintegrate.

If we're going to get any loonier, I think it'll have to entail someone ripping Tom Brady's arm off and letting loose nothing but a shower of sparks and dangling wires. Or Bill Belichick turns out to be one of those Hulu aliens. Or Jared Allen shows up to a game in nothing but a loincloth. Actually, considering the source, that last one just might happen.

Favre From the Truth

Brad Childress is playing a dangerous game these days. His assertion that there was never any discussion of setting a deadline in front of Brett Favre runs counter to everything that he's stood for in his first three seasons as an NFL head coach. Childress has a rep for wanting everyone in OTA's, let alone training camp. But, if he's really intent on dragging Favre's 40-year-old bones out of mothballs, it's going to entail him making a separate set of rules for one player.

What makes it so essential that Favre be the savior of this team? For that matter, who seriously thinks it's even possible for Favre to be the one to lead this team to the Super Bowl? The longer all this purple panting goes on, the less I like Minnesota's chances of playing in Miami next February. Sounds loopy, doesn't it?

The NFC doesn't appear to have a clear-cut powerhouse heading into this season, with Dallas trying to restructure the passing game, Philly trying to keep everyone walking, New Orleans needing the defense to step back up, Arizona needing to contain the teapot-tempest that is Anquan Boldin's contract demands, Carolina wondering how many seasons Jake Delhomme really has left, and the Bears facing twelve-men-on-the-field penalties every play by adding both Jay Cutler and Jay Cutler's Bruised Ego to the huddle. The Vikings' stingy defense and Adrian Peterson's powerful running seem like a recipe to pummel the rest of this conference into submission if they can find a Trent Dilfer/Brad Johnson-type QB to adhere to a one-line job description: DON'T SCREW UP TOO MUCH.

In case anyone forgot, Brett Favre holds the all-time NFL record for QB screw-ups. So, how is he a good fit into a Peterson-powered offense? No one's going to mistake Sage Rosenfels for Joe Montana anytime soon, to be sure. At one time, though, he was worth a fourth-round pick to take a look at, and now before anyone's even really gotten to take a look at him, the coach is too busy reassuring the media that, yes, in fact, he is still slurping Brett Favre and will continue to do so until Brett's arm officially falls off.

Rosenfels, though, had his moments in Houston. There, he was throwing to Andre Johnson and Owen Daniels. Here, he's throwing to Bernard Berrian, Visanthe Shiancoe, and potentially Percy Harvin. Out of his 20 Texan appearances, I'll grant you that he only managed not to get picked off six times, two of those when he didn't throw a pass. For now, I'll write that off to playing behind a Texans line that has yet to be decent at any point since the franchise's inception and still is sought for questioning in the murder of David Carr's career.

I may be the only one, but I sort of feel for Rosenfels, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel he's worn in the turf shuffling back and forth to the bench, only to find out that said light is attached to the #4 train coming in from Mississippi.

If Favre's making a concerted effort to avoid training camp and intends to come riding in on his white horse with one preseason game left, consider it an enormous boot up the asses of both Rosenfels and Tarvaris Jackson, both of whom may be fully aware that this is the last and best chance either one will ever get to become a full-time NFL starting quarterback. If it happens that way, Favre completely deserves to lose the huddle, and Childress completely deserves to lose the locker room.

Favre made no effort to ingratiate himself with Laveranues Coles, Thomas Jones, and the rest of the Jets offense last season. All this frenzied pursuit does is reinforce Favre's ESPN-fed notion that he's bigger than the rest of the team, if not the rest of the league. Substitute Peterson for Jones and Berrian for Coles and the results may still be the same: a team ignoring the better half of its offense while its quarterback tries to polish his John-Wayne-in-cleats reputation by trying to throw passes through the hole in a Cheerio.

And it'll be a sad result, too, for a franchise that seemed to be doing the right things, especially building around a real-deal young superstar. Them getting mixed up in Favre's vendetta against Green Bay will only end with the Packers having the last laugh, unless Favre sets aside his own ego and allows Peterson to continue to shine. Of course, Brett may have gotten quite used to having The Worldwide Leader saying his name 8,459 times per day. Giving up that fix may be more painful than that bicep injury.