Thursday, September 17, 2009

3FL Week 1: Blown Away on the Brees

Not a hot first week for me personally in the 3FL, but we did have one team looking biblically good and another looking historically bad. (Biblically > historically, for those who don't follow the order of these things.)

Salsa Shark def. Mooby Mafia 121.53-78.26
Gutter's Tools def. Kirbdogs 104.29-92.85
Carpet Munchers def. Valhalla 120.92-51.50
Mules def. Lady Shark 100.06-91.23
Suicide Squad def. God'sRightHand 167.96-71.67
Blue Rookie Monsters def. PopNFresh 100.98-84.88

Judging by those scores, one would gather that Amanda (Suicide Squad) had some hellacious producers this week. One would be correct, judging from this week's All-3FL team. The All-3FL team spotlights the highest ACTIVE (as in, in the starting lineup) players at each of our eight positions.

QB: Drew Brees (49.32 for Suicide Squad)
WR: Reggie Wayne (28.2 for Suicide Squad)
WR: Santonio Holmes (24.6 for Carpet Munchers)
RB: Adrian Peterson (39.3 for Gutter's Tools)
WR/TE: Greg Jennings (22.6 for Mules)
WR/RB: Thomas Jones (23.7 for Suicide Squad)
K: Nick Folk (12 for Blue Rookie Monsters)
DEF: Philadelphia (41.04 for Suicide Squad)

Just those top two fellas would have been enough for Amanda to beat her husband-to-be this week, but she started six other people just to stand on his nuts that much harder. Practice for being a wife, you see.

A few other guys who would have been All-3FL if they had found their way into someone's starting lineup:

WR Patrick Crayton (23.12, was a FA)
TE John Carlson (24.5, was on Suicide Squad's bench)
TE Ben Watson (22.7, was a FA)

Go back a couple of posts and make note of the fact that, yes, I did big up Amanda's selection of John Carlson. Now, ask me why I didn't select him myself.


This is me moving on without having an answer.


Moving on, I listened to a discussion on the Dan Patrick Show this morning about how the injury report is merely a thinly veiled aid for Vegas so that the bookmakers can set a more accurate point spread. (I agree, BTW.) Not that we in the 3FL condone this sort of activity, but we like tracking some Point Spreads ourselves. Yahoo projects the scores, and we like to see just how retardedly far off said projections can be.

PS=Projected Spread
AS=Actual Spread
Diff.=Difference (If the difference is positive, then the winner covered the spread.)

Salsa Shark was favored over Mooby Mafia (PS=6.24, AS=43.27, Diff.=37.03)
Mules over Lady Shark (PS=8.1, AS=8.83, Diff.=0.73)
Kirbdogs over Gutter's Tools (PS=1.3, AS=-11.44, Diff.=-12.74) (UNDERDOG WIN)
Suicide Squad over God'sRightHand (PS=7.6, AS=96.29, Diff.=88.69)
Valhalla over Carpet Munchers (PS=14.35, AS=-69.42, Diff.=-83.77) (UNDERDOG WIN...AND THEN SOME)
Blue Rookie Monsters over Other Monsters (PS=6.11, AS=16.1, Diff.=9.99)

Yahoo nearly nailed the Mules/Lady Shark game dead on, but you know, the sun even shines on a dog's ass some days. Most of the time, the projections are wildly off (see SS and Valhalla), and it's sort of fun to just point and laugh at where these numbers might actually come from.


We enjoy taking advantage of the chance to vote on each week's matchups, primarily because it serves as another chance to point and laugh at Bill and Jon. In this year's edition of the Swami Award, we check to see who called the most winners.

Amanda, Dave, Jason, and Justin all stand at 5-1, their only loss being in that EVERYONE voted for Valhalla.
Mireya, Steve, and Tim stand at 4-2.
Kirby and myself stand at 3-3.
Jon, Adam, and Bill were too busy getting pedicures.


Also, I'll be tracking a little thing I call the Falcon Award, after one of the teams that was supposed to suck last year, but ended up in the playoffs.
--Winners who got majority votes get a point for every other owner that voted for them. --Winners who were underdogs get a point for every owner that voted AGAINST them.
--Losers lose a point for every owner that voted for them, no matter what.
(SPOILER: Bill's likely to win, because his team probably won't draw many votes.)

Salsa Shark 5 votes, Mooby Mafia 4 (Winner: Salsa Shark)
Mules 8, Lady Shark 1 (Winner: Mules)
Gutter's Tools 7, Kirbdogs 2 (Winner: Gutter's Tools)
Suicide Squad 9, GRH 0 (Winner: SS)
Valhalla 9, Carpet Munchers 0 (Winner: CM)
Blue Rookies 8, PopTops 1 (Winner: BRM)

Current points:
Amanda and Bill: 9 each
Dave and Steve: 8 each
Tim: 7
Justin: 5
Adam: 0
Mireya and Jon: -1
Scott: -4
Jason: -9


Finally, just a little commentary on the Good and Bad of Week 1. These are purely subjective judgments on my part as to who I would have started or sat if I were given each other owner's roster. We have Good and Bad Starts (guys who I would have sat), as well as Good and Bad Sits (guys who I would have started).

The only Good Sit of the week goes to Steve for keeping Anquan Boldin chained to the bench. I would have easily started him ahead of Joseph Addai. It's a little easier decision to make, though, when you have the Jackson Two, Vincent and DeSean, to fall back on.

There are a few Bad Sits, but most of them have qualifying circumstances. First off, I have to staple my own sack to my leg for not following my impulse to start Darren Sproles. His 22.3 wouldn't quite have won me the game, but dammit, it's a lot better than the DNP that Steve Breaston recorded. More on him later.
--I have to give Steve a little stick here for not using Fred Jackson. Let me just say that Fred Jackson is my boy. He and Ced Benson were the guys I was relying on at RB during last year's playoffs. And while he's got three games of the backfield to himself, he's looking good to produce. He rolled for 22.5, a surprising amount of that from receptions. If he's gonna keep catching and running like that, Marshawn Lynch may not have much of a job to come back to.
--Justin will get some love in a moment, but first, I have to mention that given his roster to play with, I would have started Devin Hester. He actually recorded more points (18.64) than the guy Justin did start, but the other guy (who I'll get to soon) wasn't a stiff, either.
--And finally, back to Amanda and her afterthought pick of the draft, John Carlson. 24.5 points from a guy who half our league freely admitted they hadn't heard of on draft night. I would have to ask myself, "Self, would you have really benched TO or Lance Moore to start Carlson?" Dunno if I would, but still. It's 24.5.

On to the Good Starts:
--Bill rose up to smite Jason righteously, and a big part of that was due to Matt Hasselbeck. Anybody that's paid attention to my football discussion the past few years (a number which I could probably count on one hand) knows that I'm a Hasselbeck mark. He would have been a fine selection for my backup QB spot, but Bill jumping into the sixth round for him put the screws to that idea. Still, I dunno if I would have benched Eli for him, as I'd rather see Hasselbeck prove that he's got it back. Apparently he does. 25.46 points later, Bill's got a win and I've got a loss. Meh.
--Bill gets some more love, just from a smaller spoon this time, for his use of Tim Hightower. Hightower looked like the second coming of Larry Centers this week. Useless in the running game, but catching everything flying when he got into open space. In the interest of full disclosure, however, Bill's only other option would have been New England RB #31154, Fred Taylor. Me, I'd have dug for a WR...oh, wait, Bill didn't have any because he was carrying four TE's. Hmm.
--Finally, more props for Justin in using Jeremy Shockey. I was telling anyone who would listen (both of them) before and after the draft that I thought there were 15 TE's worth drafting. That number did NOT include Shockey, who I consider to be a bigger waste of skin than TO and Chad Rojocaliente combined. There still would have been more points in my choice, Devin Hester, but Shockey recorded a very nice 17.1, including a flat-on-his-ass TD that will still be getting SportsCenter time at season's end.

Finally, only one Bad Start this week, and I'll own up to it. By the time I had heard that Steve Breaston was inactive, the Cardinals' game was in its second quarter. Thanks to Anthony Gonzalez going down like he'd been sniped from the rafters and Bernard Berrian being hobbled worse than his walker-bound QB, I wasn't the only owner to have a player take a donut. But still, it's a little different when you're not in position to catch a guy recording a DNP. That shit hurts.

Looking ahead to Week 2, apparently Kirby thinks I'm next to God. Seriously. How's that for an ego stroke, eh? We'll try this again next week and see what shakes out.

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