Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Murphy's Not Just the First Baseman

Familiar with Murphy's Law? You know, the one that states that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong?

Nobody's epitomized it more than the New York Mets this season. $88 million in talent on the disabled list for a total of almost 1200 days. A season that was supposed to end with them slugging it out with the Phillies for the NL East is instead ending with them closer to the "Natinals."

And now this.

According to the New York Post, Citi Field is being jokingly referred to as (I'm guessing this is the uncensored name) "Shitty Field" as a series of apparent contractor mistakes are being reported.

  • A water leak is causing mold in several $250-500K luxury suites, including one rented by Jerry Seinfeld. Removing the mold from the suite will be almost as difficult as removing the mold from Seinfeld's comedy.
  • An elevator is trying to kill 70-something owner Fred Wilpon by taking a day off and forcing him to climb four flights to his office. Omar Minaya has scheduled a press conference claiming that the elevator is trying to take his job.
  • Electrical shorts in a kitchen above the ticket booths have caused water leaks and refrigerator failures. The Mets are owning up to this one, blaming the spoiled food for the entire fanbase's season-long nausea.
  • Only one electrical outlet was installed in the laundry room, meaning that surge strips have had to be used to plug in all the washers. Unfortunately, the one that washes the jockstraps is routinely left unplugged so the injured players can keep their iPods charged.
  • The maintenance crew's locker room hasn't had working AC and heating since day 1. This, however, sounds like a minor concern since the crew obviously doesn't have time to spend in there anyway.
And, there's a few other complaints afoot, but you get the hint. The last time a construction job of this magnitude turned into such a clusterfuck, an insurgent group blew it up with the help of some three-foot-tall walking teddy bears.

Mets VP Dave Howard says, "When you open a building with 1.2 million square feet, you're going to have issues like this." Yankee Stadium has just that much in retail space, and the Post isn't telling us that there isn't any hot water in Hank's showers or that Jeter and Damon are having to hook an Evinrude up to the whirlpool.

As far as contracting jobs go, the Mets got badly violated. Dave Howard can put his hands over his ears and chant la-la-la all he likes, but hopefully he doesn't end up in the same boat as this kid.

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